Crazy phone conversations.

Me and Mom are sitting in the office. I'm adding stuff to her computer, and the phone rings:

Mom: Hello?

Other person: blah, blah, blah,

Mom: Well, I'm in the office with my daughter. She's doing some computer stuff for me.

Other person: ...

Mom: I only have one daughter, and she's home. I need to pay attention to her.

Other person: ...

Mom: Yes, I know.

Other person: ...

Mom: Yes, I know I am computer illiterate, but my daughter is helping me with that right now.

Me: ::leans over and speaks directly into the mouthpiece:: She knows just enough to be dangerous.

Mom: My daughter is doing that part for me right now. I will look later. I promise. ::hangs up::

Me: Who was that?

Mom: Your Uncle Screws-up-a-lot-but-has-good-intentions.

Me: Oh, that's nice. He's kind of creepy, eh?

Mom: Yeah, but he remembers everyone's birthday.

Me: That's nice. He's not a bad man, he's just made some seriously bad choices.

Mom: Yup. But he's paid me back every penny I loaned him.

Me: That's nice. ::thinks to herself: thank FSM I haven't borrowed money from my mother since I started earning more than she does. About ten years ago. Whew!"::

Next day:

Me: :: Phone rings, I pick it up:: Hello?

Other person: Hello? Is this Aunt Misstea's Mom's place"

Me: Yes, this is her daughter, Misstea. How are you, Grandma?

Other person / Grandma: Oh, you can tell it's me? I've been trying to phone your mom, and she's never home. And I love you. It was so good to see you last week.

Me: I love you too, Grandma. It was a real treat to see you too.

Grandma: You know, your mom is never home, and I can't remember anything so I worry.

Me: Well, you know that mom is busy, and that no news is good news.

Grandma: That's true, but I still get scared. I can't remember much anymore.

Me: That's OK. I'm home this weekend for mom's birthday. We had a barbecue at Big B's campsite up at (redacted) and we had pie and well, we're busy playing with the babies, and you know how time just scoots away...

Grandma: Yes, I know... but there's a new baby coming, right?

Me: :: knowing there are two babies coming:: That's right, and we are very excited about that. Would you like to talk to Mom?

Grandma: Yes.

Mom and Grandma have the exact same conversation. Except it extends to dead people that I don't know.