Shellshock

Yesterday, my boss asked me if I had my exam results yet. And I realized the release date was pretty close.

Then I got a knot in my stomach. And even though the results aren't supposed to be released until tomorrow, I checked a couple times throughout the day.

And again when I got home from work. It took forever for the page to load. That did not help.

57%.

That's a fail. 65% is the pass mark.

To admit I failed is a very big deal. I never failed at anything until I started taking these courses (well, I had failed at studying the arts, and at being married. But that's different). I'm one of those crazy high-achiever people who hardly had to do anything to be successful (that was years ago, really, I should move on). The work itself comes naturally. I chose this field because I'm good at it (supposedly).

I'm a little bit numb right now. I really thought that I had worked hard enough, planned my time sensibly and tried not to panic.

Tonight, I'm going to pet some yarn, read the new Interweave Knits (got it before it was released on newsstands, yay!) and have a glass (or several) of w(h)ine.

The good news: I can re-write. I'll check the schedule and sign up tomorrow. I will also save comparing my mark breakdown to the exam tomorrow. I've had enough disappointment for today.