Monday, December 3, 2007

Breaking up is hard to do. Part II

I realize that the title of that earlier post was a teaser.

Most of my friends and confidants know that over the past three weeks, I have been trying to, in a mature and non-confrontational way, end an intimate relationship that is no longer enriching my life.

After three weeks of being stood up, phone tag and other general annoyances, I ended the relationship tonight.

Not surprisingly, this is a relief. And rather anti-climatic, given how much I try to avoid "the talk."

Why this relationship is no longer a pleasant diversion for me, and why the ending of it has taken so long is not a matter that can be summed up with a quick list, or a clever, funny post.

Rather, the reasons are myriad, and somewhat superficial, and tend to point out to me (when I would rather not think about it) that my taste is somewhat suspect, and my decision-making skills, when it comes to matters of the heart, are appallingly bad.

As an aside, can you tell that Masterpiece Theatre is playing in the background as I write this? I sound terribly pompous.

I often sound pompous, background sound notwithstanding, so I'm not going to edit the previous text.

Rather, I am going to only say a few things:
  • Don't date anybody just because you want someone to cuddle with while you watch a movie. Even if that person is good kisser.

  • Do rely on yourself and your pals. They are the only ones who are truly dependable.

  • Be picky. The things you overlook in the beginning will drive you crazy at the end.

And finally, if you aren't excited when you see that name on call display, it's time to end it. I should have done this two months ago, when he said that he didn't want to come to my show. THAT was a sign, if there ever was one, that I didn't have enough in common with him to sustain a healthy, productive relationship.

And when I was relieved that he wasn't coming to the show, because I would have more fun without him, was another really good sign.


Deborah Cryderman said...

I don't know whether to tell you how sad I am for you or cheer. I think both might be appropriate. Hmmm... Well, on the "cheering" side, now you have more knitting time!

The right one is out there. Somewhere. Probably hanging out with my future husband. Someday we'll talk about what took the lazy @$$es so long to find us.

Misstea said...

Cheering is definitely in order. I am not (and never was) looking for anything long-term.

But, so glad to be in touch with you! Now, get some stuff up on Ravelry.