Paint ALL the things

Before I get started, have you seen this blog? It's delightful.

And that reminds me that I should update my blog list on the right. My interests have changed radically over the past three years, and I now read very few knitting blogs, because I can get that stuff on Ravelry. However, Google Reader (I migrated there a couple of months ago, when Bloglines announced it was shutting down, a migration that was long overdue) has brought to my attention many wonderful things that are outside the knitting world. Run-on sentence, much?

Anyway, I've been feeling, in the best possible way, rather at loose ends since I sat the exam. I won't be taking another course until summer, 2011, at the earliest, though fall is more likely. It's going to be about three months until the show moves into super-high gear, at which time I will be swamped, manic, cranky and loving every minute of it.

So, it's time to find a project. It's got to be cheap, only moderately time-consuming, and I need another hobby like I need another hole in the head. Also, deadlines and I don't get along. I thought about volunteering for something. I thought about knitting for charity (but then remembered I have many friends and loved ones to knit for - I don't need to knit for strangers who will likely not love what I make). There are, naturally, many books I want to read, and many television programs to catch up on, but that can only be done so much before my ass grows as wide as my sofa.

I was in the bedroom tonight, changing the sheets, when I glanced at the window. Or more accurately, the blinds. Which are nicotine stained, cheap and generally ugly. It occurred to me that I should get off my butt and make those curtains I've been talking about.

And then something else occurred to me.

Cue the trumpets.

I stripped (or rather, my good friend D stripped) most of the wallpaper in my study before I moved into Chez PeePee. My intention was to finish stripping the wallpaper and paint, but somehow (ha!) time has gotten away from me.

It's been four years, and it's time to have a proper study / spare bedroom.

Now, don't get me wrong, this is not the first time this thought has occurred to me. Some months ago, I borrowed a wallpaper steamer from my good friend M (it's good to have good friends) and it has been sitting in the dining room since I brought it home in August. Enough.

I am taking holidays between Giftmas and Oo Near. That would be a good time to putter around and finish stripping the wallpaper and give the walls a good wash. There may even be time to do the patching, or at least make an attempt at patching, because I suck at that sort of thing.

In my wildest fantasies (the wildest fantasies of the past hour, anyway) I can get it painted as well. Painted a bright lime green that screams cheer, good energy and inspiration.

We'll see about that.

Anyway, before pics:

This is the view behind my desk. I can't believe, now that I think about it, that I have been looking at this for four years. Clearly, I only see what I want to see.

After the exam is over

How does the world keep turning?

How does the free time grow?

How does a knit stay burning?

After procrastination's glow?

OK, that's all I've got, and it's pretty lame.

The exam was 8 days ago, and since then, I feel ten years younger, 40 pounds lighter and just generally good about things.

Which is a long way to say that the exam was... not bad.

While there is no doubt that I didn't do enough studying, because it is impossible to do too much studying for these things, I don't think I completely buggered it up. I didn't have that shaking feeling of anxiety during the 20 minutes between the reading of the instructions and being allowed to touch the paper. I turned the paper over and wrote solidly for 3 hours and 55 minutes. The MC questions seemed to be clear, the case studies drew on content that I was comfortable with, enough that I could issue an opinion without grasping for straws. There wasn't a consolidation question with foreign currency translation, thank FSM. Looking back, I should have tackled the big case question first. The exam suggested 1 hour, 55 minutes for that question alone. I had 1 hr, 45 minutes left when I got to it.

I know, from reading the exam blueprint, that I did not go into enough detail to get an extraordinary number of points, but all I need is 50. It's pass/fail, and there is no feedback unless the candidate royally messes up. So, I'm letting it go until February 5, when the results are released.

I did realize, however, that taking this course now was a really good move - it's a course that tests breadth, not depth, and it draws on courses that I took as long as ten years ago. Much has changed (IFRS/GAAP, I'm looking at you!), much has been forgotten. I can only imagine how much harder it would have been if I had waited even longer, not taking any accounting courses in the mean-time.

So, the next order of business is to get through the second one, and then return to my degree studies. And if I never get around to that degree, well, then I will have accomplished the goal I set for myself in 1996 - to complete the CGA program of study. I could be satisfied with that. Maybe.

So, what I have been doing for the past week? Well, I cleaned my house, because things had been sorely neglected during the run-up to the exam, I listened to Harry Potter 5 and 6, and watched the movies. And on Sunday... I saw The Deathly Hallows Part 1.

It was good. As always, the books are better (though I kind of agree with people who have said that the months of roughing it could have been considerably shortened). What I like (and I need to do more reading about the changes in writers/directors/producers) is that like the books, the movies have grown with Harry - grown darker, addressed more mature issues. The animation of the story of The Deathly Hallows was particularly well done. Part 1 finished in a good spot - about 2/3 of the way through the book, but right before the final action begins. I can't wait for July.

And speaking of Harry Potter, I was at the watering hole on Friday, and convinced another reader to pick them up. She, like me, had been reluctant to jump on the bandwagon. I think I may have convinced her by talking about how it was a metaphor for Germany from 1936 to 1945, with flashes of Anne of Green Gables.

But there has also been knitting! I knitted a hat. It's alpaca, details on Ravelry. I've even blocked it, and hope to give it to the recipient tomorrow. It's a wee bit big for me, so it should fit her perfectly. If not, I'll make her another. She bought me more than enough yarn to do so, after all.

I don't know what the hell is going on with the jog on the right side. Bad photography staging, for sure.

That's better.

A hat.

I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque

On Monday night, after posting about wanting to knit a vest, I sat down to knit a swatch.

I grabbed some yarn that had been sitting in the stash for a while (I can't believe I just ganked my own photo; it was just easier) and some needles.

I got 22 stitches and 28 rows to 4 inches. Perfect... for something.

During the next commercial break, I grabbed the binder where I keep all the patterns I've printed/photocopied (legally, of course) and found...

A sweater.


source

Yes, I know. I was all about the vests. But, I have a sweater's worth of yarn, I need a new cardigan, and the gauge was perfect. Really, I cannot stress that enough. THE GAUGE WAS PERFECT.

So, I'm making a Basic Black (pdf link), but mine will be Basic Pink (Ravelry link).

It's a deliciously easy knit. I cast on last night at Knit Night, and blasted on through an inch of ribbing while visiting. Got the other three inches done on the bus and at work today (I felt like slacking. So what?).

It's good that it's an easy knit. I found out an hour ago that I qualified for my exam. It's in 10 days. I have not started studying. I will knit while I am reading. I promise. About the reading. Harry Potter is on hold.

Too many deadlines!

So, I started this sweater in January...

(tiny, wee cute sweater. Missing one lousy sleeve).

The kid it was intended for has grown some. It won't fit.

So, this morning, I cued up some module notes and did some reading. Thank FSM that I can read and knit:

(and this is a far more accurate representation of the colour. It's a lovely semi-solid purple).

Though, doing the reading was hard, because I was constantly tempted to take a nap in today's glorious sun:

The goal is a sweater for Easter. And two assignments between now and then.

24 hours to go

I wanna be sedated.



Yup, exam in 24 hours, and surprisingly, I feel OK, though I haven't done near the preparation I should have (though, with me, that's not unusual).

Today's plan is to take it easy, read the material, take some notes, and maybe do the practise exam and play with the multiple choice test bank.

I'm going to do my best to do as Bossman tells me, and just show off to the examiners how much I know. I have that attitude in every other area of my life, and exams shouldn't be any different.

As I type this, I realize that showing off in an exam situation is easier said than done.

But I'm going to try.

From the heart-breaking to the ridiculous

It's been a really, really shitty week. I went to a funeral, which always sucks.

And I spent some time with a friend who really, really needed me. It's a disaster that is so awful that I don't want to even talk about it.

I'm used to solving problems and holding people when they cry. I don't even know where to begin with this one.

I hope bad things don't really happen in threes. I can't bear to think of what might happen next.

But! I have an exam in six days that I have not yet begun to prepare for. I went to the review class this afternoon, and had the fear of the examiners put into me. Which is fine. That happens at every review class.

The ridiculous was standing at the bus stop, making and returning phone calls, checking my email, and the drunk-ass vagrant behind me kept saying to whatever poor sap beside him, "Do you see her socks? Aren't those interesting socks? Excuse me, miss, where did you get your socks?"

At one point, I snapped, "I made them" and returned to my phone.

Then I heard, "Did you know that she made her socks? I don't know how she does that. It seems strange that she can make socks."

Poor me, we got on the same bus, and he asked if I would explain how I made my socks. I snarled, "I'm a knitter, and I've got other things on my mind!"

He left me alone.

Victorious!

Does anyone else remember that Duran Duran song? Probably not. It was past their hey-day (though John Taylor hasn't aged so well, I will love him until the day I die). They've never been the same since Andy left.

Anyway, today was the day. My internal auditing exam marks were released. You may recall, I struggled with this course. I blogged about it here, here, here and here.

In all honesty, I'd forgotten about it, until I got the email saying "Pay your bill so you can see your mark!"

So, at 8:30 this morning, I keyed in my credit card number to pay the damn $20, and then clicked on "statement of marks."

70%. I passed. I will never, ever have to deal with writing an audit report again. Thank Dog.

Meh.

I mentioned to Bossman today that I hoped to work on my multiple choice questions while listening the budget coverage.

He asked me how my course was going.

I told him that I was finding it difficult to be engaged in the material.

The discussion group people are nice, the material isn't that difficult. It kind of sucks that our questions are case studies, something that I always struggle with.... the problem was that I'm not angry about something! There's no issue that I violently disagree with! The lecturer hasn't pissed me off (probably because I haven't gone to a lecture, I've been streaming online instead). I don't have a study buddy to argue with.

I have no negative emotional attachment to this course, and therefore, I don't care. Get me good and steaming mad, though, and I'll read every paper, parse every post, write a position paper on the issue I believe in.

Sucks. I wish this course were more like politics. Then I'd be engaged, that's for sure.

It's not as it seems

I'm in Bossman's office, filing the December financial reports (he knows how much filing things properly makes me happy)...

Bossman: So, Misstea, what are your plans for the weekend?

Me: I've got a hot and heavy date..

Bossman: Really?

Me: with a textbook. Rock 'n roll single girl, eh?

Bossman: Oh.

Yarn therapy

What a sucktastic day.

It started out OK, but in the afternoon, it all went downhill. I started working on my assignment, only to discover that apparently, I know nothing about IT strategic decision-making (no big surprise there, but I thought I would at least be able to bull-shit about something).

Then I discovered that the online discussion that I thought began next week actually begins tomorrow. There are all ready 25 posts, and I haven't even read the material.

But wait! It gets better. I left the office at 5:40, intending to catch the 5:50 bus downtown. Plenty of time. I was standing at the light, waiting to cross, at 5:46, when the bus went flying down the street. Didn't even have a chance to wave (not that the driver would have seen me).

The next bus came at 6:36. That's right, a 50 minute wait. I phoned transit, and spoke to a real live person, and she said there was a general 19 minute delay (Umn, 5:46 to 6:36 is a wee bit more than 19 minutes. Math. Ur doin it rong!).

The thing that chaps my ass is that the website, which I shut down at about 5:38, said nothing about a delay. Also, if I had been walking, I would have been where I wanted to be on time, instead of just getting downtown.

From downtown, I walked, because there were no buses in sight, and my feet hadn't even barely begun to thaw. A bus stopped, just as I was crossing the street where I would have gotten off (I resisted the urge to flip the driver the bird. 'Cuz I'm nice that way.)

That's right, in Winnipeg, where wind chills regularly hit below 40 degrees C, one is better off walking.

You can bet your bottom dollar that I will be blasting the transit supervisor when my complaint call is returned.

So, when I finally got to knit night, I indulged in some yarn therapy. Two sweaters worth of Malabrigo worsted (in Strawberry Fields) and Manos. Clearly, I need the warm clothing, if I am going to continue being environmentally conscious and, well, cheap.

Screw you, Winnipeg Transit! I'm going to be at home, knitting, until spring, and then I will ride my bike!

Done. For now.

My boss said something earlier this week, and it really resonated. He said the exam was an opportunity to show them how much I know.

To show them how much I know... wow. Not to weed out the stupid ones, or to make me crack under the pressure.

So, I stood back. Tried not to panic... and it went OK.

I'm sure I could have done more studying (frankly, my study groove never quite recovered from the frantic hat-making episode) but I don't feel too bad. I was rested. I restricted my liquids, so I wasn't uncomfortable. I budgeted my time (100 marks, four hours - that's 2.4 minutes per mark). I just wrote. And wrote. And wrote so much that my right hand was too sore to knit on the bus ride home.

In eight weeks or so, I'll know exactly how much knowledge I showed them.

Of course, it helped that the exam had five questions instead of four. That I was smart enough to write down a quick reason why I rejected a m/c answer. There were no surprises. All the keywords and acronyms on my home-made review sheets helped, because if I was stuck for a point, all I had to do was visualize the page in my head.

Next course starts on Monday. Courier delivered my text today. But, I've got a party on Saturday, so I'm taking the weekend off. I know I'll have a sore head on Sunday. I'm starting to think about knitting for Christmas. Two new babies, after all.

Pop Quiz

One of the "study aids" provided with the course are "test your knowledge" quizzes. I've been running through them so often that I've memorized where to click for the correct answer. Not what the correct answer actually is and why it is correct.

Oi. It is not helpful.

This one took me a few tries:

Which of the following is outside the scope of internal auditing?

a) assessing the organization's effectiveness.

b) verifying compliance with laws and regulations

c) safeguarding the organizations assets

d) reviewing the processes involved with producing internal financial reports.

The correct answer is 'c.' Because internal audit assesses the actions taken by management to safeguard the assets and is not reponsible for the actual safeguarding of assets.

'C' is correct because it is missing a verb. "Ensuring" is the verb that should be used.

Um, hey, we're accountants. We have a duty of care to our employers to act responsibly and a duty of trust to act morally and ethically, in accordance with the relevant governing bodies and professional associations.

So, if I'm not actually safeguarding the assets, I'm supposed to tattle on the accountant who isn't getting the job done?

Apparently so. No wonder we have such a bad reputation. We're assholes.

EDD

It's a new disorder - Easily Distracted Disorder. Discovered by me, because I've got it bad.

These are some of the WIPs:

But suddenly, I have the urge to make mitts. Which is really strange, because I don't really care for making the thumbs. Too fiddly. I want to use Judy's Magic Cast On (which I love) and make fine gauge mitts that fit my huge hands perfectly.

And, I just happen to have some wonderfully smooshy yarn that isn't quite enough to make a pair of socks.

It's completely possible that I am procrastinating. I'm kind of stalled on the Basement of Doom™ project and I have an exam in less than two weeks. Perfect time to start a project without a pattern.

I'm a reasonably smart person

At least, I think so.



I manage to dress myself each morning, get to work pretty much on time, feed myself, pay my bills, that sort of thing.



I'm also a pretty good conversationalist, and have talents that are an addition to my workplace. I'm reasonably well-read and try to keep up on current events.



But every once in a while, I do something so amazingly stupid that I have to wonder how smart I really am.



For example, this morning.

I knew that to safely stand on the incredibly crowded transit bus, I could not hold my bag, my coffee cup and the railing. Something had to go. That was my coffee, which I carefully placed into my bag. I was able to check on it, and make sure it was still upright.



The bus was really crowded when I got off, but I managed. Then I got to my transfer point, and realized that my coffee cup was sideways. And almost empty.



Just about everything in my bag was soaked, including my breakfast. Coffee soaked Ryvita does not taste good, for the record.

Yup, that's the wrap for the silent auction. Not quite sure how I'm going to handle that.

My brand spanking new book. Ruined. Well before I finished reading it.

My precious Ravelry tote. I had hoped to not wash it for a bit, to maintain that crisp stiffness of a new tote that I love so much. Whoops.

See? That's gross.

My school books got some damage too, but I'm able to reprint the stuff with the worst damage. The rest of it is just brown on some of the edges.


But the worst part? No coffee. I have very few domestic skills, but I can say, without bragging, that I make a damn fine cup of coffee. I dragged my butt all day, as a result. Until I got home at 10 pm. That's a long time to wander around, stinking like coffee but unable to source some of the good stuff.

Random Friday

I considered going to the watering hole tonight, but I just wasn't in the mood. I wanted to be at home in my nice, clean house (cleaning service came today, woot!).



And because it is Friday, my brain is full of random, jumbling thoughts, and I am freaking tired. Sitting at a desk and thinking all day is hard work, dontcha know?

So, instead of a clear, coherent (relatively speaking, this is me, after all) post, I'm just going to deal with all of the stuff in my head. Or at least, the stuff I can think of, right now.

More new wine that I like:




Especially the Dog House. It was a bin end that I picked up just for fun. I'll be going back to get me more of that.

Thanks for the good wishes about Jr. J! He's a good eater and a good sleeper (and therefore the complete opposite of his big sister, as it stands right now). I'm told that big sister, Mini J, is very possessive of the baby-that-was-in-Mum's belly.

As an aside, I did some shopping today, and was strangely drawn to train sets (also, Grandma loves having Mini J for sleepovers. And Mini J really likes to sleep in Auntie's bed).

I got my first assignment back today. I submitted virtually the same assignment I submitted the first time through. I got fifteen (yes! 15!) fewer marks. And, yes, it was the same damn marker. I'm giving myself some time to cool down, and then I am drafting an email to inquire why.

My boss tells me to just suck it up and do what they want me to do. I can't and will not (there's a difference, I think). This whole program markets itself saying that we are leaders, trend-setters, blah, blah, blah. Well, I think I will start a new trend and stop swallowing what they feed me. Part of being a leader is being strong enough to stand up and ask tough questions. I do it in every other part of my life, why not my education (rather, more accurately, this part of my education)?

I'm beyond pissed off, I'm well and truly steamed (I think my anger is feeding off my left-over lecture fury).


But, let's talk about happy things. I stopped in at Costco on the way home, for stage three in my "line the shelves for 2009" project. As always, I strayed from the list. But, I found something that made me really, insanely happy.


You see, way back in 2002, I was having dinner at a friend's house (a friend that turned out to not be much of a friend, but that's neither here nor there) and she served something called "Poppers." She was embarrassed that she was serving something processed, and was even more horrified when she saw the nutrition information.


Well. I loved them. In all their greasy, breaded, fried glory (really, how could one go wrong with breaded, fried jalapenos and cream cheese? It's a winning combination). Yum. Occasionally I would think of them while in the grocery store, and have a half-hearted look. No luck, for six freaking years. Until today. I was cruising down the coffee aisle (naturally) which also has part of the freezer section (normally a place I avoid, because I haven't much freezer space), and I heard a fellow make a comment to his spouse about some sort of processed product. I looked over to see what he was talking about, just as a matter of curiosity.


And. There. They. Were.



Choirs of angels sang as I placed the box into my cart, I'm sure of it.


Every bit as delicious as I remember. Fattening, nutritionally void, but delicious.


Election stuff: I flipped between the leaders English debate and the veep debate down south last night. Both telecasts were infuriating (really, when is someone going to nominate me for benign-dictator-of-the-world? I'm waiting...). N and M happened to be at Chez Peepee for part of it, and despite me having warned them that I would shout at the TV, I think they were a little bit scared.


And tonight, I got the latest email from my party-of-choice, asking me to fill in a survey. None of the responses to select fit what I wanted to say and there was no option to add text. Hmmm. I feel another email coming on.

You'd think I was picking my nose

Last night, during my lecture (knit night peeps, how I miss you, all ready), I disagreed with the lecturer and spent a good five minutes eloquently arguing (why can't I be eloquent during exams? It's one of the mysteries of the universe) that I thought standard 2500 of the Institute of Internal Auditors was not the horrendous waste of resources and time he thought it was.

I failed to convince him, but he agreed that my points did have merit, and were thoughtfully expressed.

For the next few minutes, I was the student that he made eye contact with as he talked (You've heard that, right? When public speaking, make eye contact with someone, and in a large crowd, preferably lots of someones).

Well, I had forgotten to keep my hands below the table, and he stopped in mid-sentence to say, "ARE YOU KNITTING?"

I looked around, and said to the class, "Yes."

He stumbled and mumbled for a few minutes about how he'd never seen that before in his classes.

Well, he's going to see a lot more of it over the next eight weeks. It's either that or nap.

Now, I know you are curious to know what was I working on:

A basic broken rib sock, LL Shepherd Sock in Jay Pond, 2 mm needles, 72 sts. Heel worked over 34 sts.

Dear sweet FSM, it's good to be done.

Exam is over. As I expected, did not go well.

But it's over. Now I can read, garden, play with my friends, and knit. I really, really miss knitting.

I want to something with really skinny sticks and string and lots of charts.

I'm screwed (and not in a good way)

One thousand pages.

Twelve weeks.

Five assignments.

One exam (pass or fail, there is no try).

Conclusions, after all this:

• Don't be an asshole.
• Assume that not everyone else is an asshole, but be prepared for it.
• Talk, talk, and talk some more.
• EEE - economy, efficiency and effectiveness. In every question.
• Enterprise risk, control risk, inherent risk.

Audit programs, audit objectives, audit plans... audit, audit, audit.

I really don't care. I'm only doing this to make my mom and boss man happy. Sadly, I'm going to disappoint them.

Quick post

and then I've got to go study. Really.



I'm cramming a three-inch binder's worth of stuff into my head tonight.



Tomorrow will not be pretty.



However, some good news. I prepared and released the interim May financial statements for Construction Inc. today. Five hours ahead of schedule, a day and a half later than my goal (Yes, I am unrealistic. Wanna make something of it?) I am so pleased. My boss is pleased. The staff is pleased, now that I am not freaking out on them (Good bunch, really. Good at their jobs. They had just haven't seen me in 'full-freak' mode before).



Our owners will be very, very pleased, I am sure. Actually, I can't wait for the end of July, when the auditors arrive, and they swoon with excitement at what I have prepared (Not that auditors would swoon. Nope, not ever. It's auditors and actuaries that give accountants a bad name).



Moving on (maybe this isn't so quick, after all), I did my normal little routine when I got home tonight; wander around the property, picking up the garbage, grab the mail, inspect the flower pots and garden beds...



And we have growth!

I have eight of what I think are rosebushes in front of my house. Grew like weeds last year. No blooms. Something is budding, so perhaps there will be blooms. Trust me, I will report on this fully if something exciting happens.

Now for the garden. I planted a bunch of seeds, and it has poured rain ever since. But, something appears to be working!

I forget what I planted where (I wasn't drunk, I just didn't write it down immediately). If I get anything more than this, it will all be a grand surprise!

That's it. Only eighteen more hours until I can knit without guilt. I haven't knit a stitch since last Sunday. That's five days, and it's freaking killing me. I surely hope I can go to WWKIP after my exam. If not, there will be a solitary celebration. In a bar. With a patio.

One more assignment

I'm slogging through my last assignment.

Qualifying marks are close; it could go either way. The marker is on vacation, so I can't even make a calculated gamble.

I really miss knit night. This is the third week in a row I've missed.

Sucks to be me.