I had an extremely odd email conversation the other day, with a friend who is also involved in my special project:
Me: So you want to divide our total price by 1.05, which would give the net amount, if we were charging GST. Since we're not, the gross price and the net price are the same. The ticket people should be able to make that adjustment. I can talk to them directly if you want.
Him: ... I breathe easier with you in the pilot's seat. You're sort of like a decongestant - if you get the metaphor. It was coined with much love.
Me: Geez, I've never been compared favourably a nasal spray before. You really know how to sweet-talk a girl.
Him: No - not a nasal spray - decongestant - someone who decongests, cuts through the bullshit, eliminates red tape, slays dragons that get in the way, that sort of thing - real, live, hero-type stuff! See, now if I had said "antihistamine", that would be different. Or, God forbid, laxative. Although a laxative does make things go smoother.....
Me: Yes, a laxative is not quite the same compliment, but I've frequently been told I'm a pain in the ass. In my profession, it's a necessary trait.
Him: If the shoe fits...