Notice to all readers: this rant may not make sense.
I'm a lucky girl. I have a good job, a pleasing home and family and friends that adore me. That adoration is mutual.
Really, I've got it going on.
But every once in a while, something sends me around the bend. That something has happened recently, so I'm compelled to speak about it.
I'm sitting with my dad, in one of the city's finer restaurants, and he says, "Oh, there's a group coming in, and it's your Uncle D's friends"... My dad is very smart, but he's not quick on the uptake.
I immediately sit up straight. I'm going to play defense for my dad, no matter what.
Sure enough, it was a group of people, one of which is a big bull-shitter. Always bellicose. He decided to mock my fine, always serious, well-spoken father. He was teasing my father about having dinner with a cute young woman.
Meaning, me. And insinuating that was there was something fishy going on.
My dad was polite and bashful, talking about "the daughter".
I sat there and smiled. I made some small talk about the weather. I made appropriate comments about the motions being discussed at the annual meeting.
Uncle D, came in, with his wife. We had hugs, a big reunion. Not only was I "The Daughter", I was "The Niece."
Oh. Dear. This isn't fun any more.
I looked over at the fat over-blown fucking bastard that was mocking my dad and told him that he was jealous. Jealous of who? Me?
No, you are jealous of Barry.
Because Barry gets to have dinner with me.
And that bugger was all, "Wait, thought this was fun... I don't get it..."
Fuck you asshole, for making fun of my dad. I will stomp on you with my tiny kitten heel and make mincemeat of you with my intellect. You do not mock my dad and get away with it. Never.
Fuck you (I feel so strongly I have to say it again). And when my dad retires, guess who will be the new representative.
That's right. My brother. I bet the same lame joke won't fly so well as I'm sitting there with my brother, his wife, and their two children.
I look forward to seeing you eat your words, asshole.