I am gloomy

The classmate I keep referring to? Would have turned 36 today. Why do I remember that? It's been at least 25 years since I celebrated his birthday.

I am in a shitty, shitty mood. Suddenly, it doesn't matter that I hadn't spoken to the man in six years. I will never speak to him again. And that makes me sad. And mad (as in angry, not crazy).

P.S. I wrote a cheque last night. But not nearly as large a cheque as his employer wrote, my bother tells me.

Edited to add: I just checked my voicemail, and my brother and his wife had called to say that they were having a party for Mini J on Saturday, her second birthday. My brother, Big J, ran into Craig's dad the other day, and said something to the effect that he understood that they'd had, and I quote, "a rough time lately."

I lost it, on the phone. Completely lost it. I'm bawling right now. Why am I being so stupid about this?

I don't care how busy I am. I'm going to Nodnarb on Saturday. I have to be there. Poor Mini J. She's going to wonder why Crazy Aunt Misstea is crying.